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  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Everyone has problems. Some of us even have really big problems. Now you can show your problems how much you love them with this shirt, designed by JJ Pare, that twists Jesse's words all around your torso. Including nipples. Has a cool F-word on it.

    Includes unlimited streaming of fml lol smdh via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Message from rap legend Jesse Dangerously: Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are temporarily unable to mail records and other physical merchandise. We appreciate your support, and we will ship your order as soon as we can.
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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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      $5 CAD  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 23 rap legend Jesse Dangerously releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Rap Hundreds, season 3, Want, For Want, of Wanting EP (digital deluxe edition), The Rap Hundreds, season 2, Want, For Nothing, The Rap Hundreds, season 1, Remixes, Verba Volant (9th Anniversary), Hallowax 2008, and 15 more. , and , .

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1.
I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems Like 99 Problems, yo you want some problems? My problem's got a problem, that's a problem problem. I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems I gotta love my problems, all I got is problems What's a problem to a problem? What's your fucking problem? Probably problem number one is being fat Not really that, but the people that'll treat you bad Like, "are you eating that?" Yeah, it's fucking lunch time! Don't treat my body like a motherfucking punchline! My second problem is a bad temper I've had since a kid, and an attitude I have to censor and after that? Gender! you should go buy the single for the song i wrote about it cause I'm so Broke, with no education and a whole lot of pride - y'know what I'm saying? No? That's 'cause of problem number six Where you can't understand when I'm talking 'cause the lisp And the disorders that punched giant holes In my emotions as a kid went undiagnosed I suppose that half my friends have been abused In a sense that sensitized us to the news How are you? I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems Like 99 Problems, yo you want some problems? My problem's got a problem, it's a problem problem. I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems I got all of my problems, all I got is problems What's a problem to a problem? What's your fucking problem? Can't finish a record for procrastinating No drive at all, I ain't even masturbating Go to bed when I throw them tunes on No new friends and my old friends moved on My promise has proved wrong, my crew's on the tube sans Me - this shit is three years old, it's my new song! School stopped letting me cruise on a handout Nothing panned out, I got canned from two jobs Can't drive at all, how'm I supposed to hit the road, then? Came out as queer but I still hate most men! Closed in, frozen, my goals made my life worsen Half my heroes let me down, the other half: vice versa Try to be a nice person, but I'm a dick or get walked on I'm addicted to conflict and face book dot com I wanted this to be a posse cut, but I'm disorganized and suck at prioritizing - fuck it, i guess that's sort of my problem I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems Like 99 Problems, yo you want some problems? My problem's got a problem, that's a problem problem. I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems I love all of my problems, all I got is problems What's a problem to a-- fuck it. Somebody say problems, everybody PROBLEMS "All together now!" Somebody say problems, let me hear you PROBLEMS And alright, now, when I say "PRO," you say "BLEMS" Pro! BLEMS! Pro! BLEMS! And when I say "BLEMS," you say "PRO" Blems! PRO! Blems! PRO! I got, you got, he got, she got PROBLEMS I got, you got, we got, they got PROBLEMS "We got problems" Big ones... WOW We packin problems the size of Little Bow Wow "We got problems" "You got problems, man?" "That's right, I got problems and personal issues" "We got problems" "Nobody helps me when I got problems, when I got problems?" "That's right, I got problems and personal issues"​
2.
I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems Like 99 Problems, yo you want some problems? My problem's got a problem, that's a problem problem. I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems I gotta love my problems, all I got is problems What's a problem to a problem? What's your fucking problem? Probably problem number one is being fat Not really that, but the people that'll treat you bad Like, "are you eating that?" Yeah, it's fucking lunch time! Don't treat my body like a motherfucking punchline! My second problem is a bad temper I've had since a kid, and an attitude I have to censor and after that? Gender! you should go buy the single for the song i wrote about it cause I'm so Broke, with no education and a whole lot of pride - y'know what I'm saying? No? That's 'cause of problem number six Where you can't understand when I'm talking 'cause the lisp And the disorders that punched giant holes In my emotions as a kid went undiagnosed I suppose that half my friends have been abused In a sense that sensitized us to the news How are you? I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems Like 99 Problems, yo you want some problems? My problem's got a problem, it's a problem problem. I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems I got all of my problems, all I got is problems What's a problem to a problem? What's your fucking problem? Can't finish a record for procrastinating No drive at all, I ain't even masturbating Go to bed when I throw them tunes on No new friends and my old friends moved on My promise has proved wrong, my crew's on the tube sans Me - this shit is three years old, it's my new song! School stopped letting me cruise on a handout Nothing panned out, I got canned from two jobs Can't drive at all, how'm I supposed to hit the road, then? Came out as queer but I still hate most men! Closed in, frozen, my goals made my life worsen Half my heroes let me down, the other half: vice versa Try to be a nice person, but I'm a dick or get walked on I'm addicted to conflict and face book dot com I wanted this to be a posse cut, but I'm disorganized and suck at prioritizing - fuck it, i guess that's sort of my problem I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems Like 99 Problems, yo you want some problems? My problem's got a problem, that's a problem problem. I love big problems, that's my fucking problem Good thing I love problems, got a lot of problems I love all of my problems, all I got is problems What's a problem to a-- fuck it. Somebody say problems, everybody PROBLEMS "All together now!" Somebody say problems, let me hear you PROBLEMS And alright, now, when I say "PRO," you say "BLEMS" Pro! BLEMS! Pro! BLEMS! And when I say "BLEMS," you say "PRO" Blems! PRO! Blems! PRO! I got, you got, he got, she got PROBLEMS I got, you got, we got, they got PROBLEMS "We got problems" Big ones... WOW We packin problems the size of Little Bow Wow "We got problems" "You got problems, man?" "That's right, I got problems and personal issues" "We got problems" "Nobody helps me when I got problems, when I got problems?" "That's right, I got problems and personal issues"?

about

FIRST THINGS FIRST: the clean edit and unedited vocal versions of the song are free to download! to get the full digital single with INSTRUMENTAL and A CAPELLA mixes, you can order a t-shirt or pay five tiny canadian dollars!

THE STORY: In 2013, when I was on tour with mc chris, Tribe One, and Dr Awkward, I started performing what became the hook of this song at every show, as grudging tribute to the famous A$AP Rocky posse cut, and also to bring the audiences of those 52 shows together in celebration of how we all have problems. BIG ONES.

It quickly became the most popular moment of my set - people seemed to love shouting BLEMS and PRO and I felt like I was really connecting and opening them up to all my other songs that are also about having problems, but in more detail. So midway through the tour I printed 100 t-shirts and tank tops of the whole chorus, as typeset by Toronto graphic designer JJ Pare who used to live in Buck 65's old semi-detached home. Sales of that shirt kept me alive then, and kind of ever since?

I planned to make a posse cut featuring my tourmates and other friends as SOON AS I GOT HOME from that tour, but I didn't! MMAC made me a beat and I still didn't manage to get a posse cut together. THAT IN ITSELF WAS A PROBLEM.

Then like two years later, Drake dropped his IF U READ THIS THEN UR TWO LATE SORY mixtape, and it was so grouchy and petulant and anti-internet and FUN that it snapped me out of my reverie and before I knew it, the problems had all spilled out of me.

Now they are yours provblems.

credits

released April 1, 2015

beat by MMAC
rap by Jesse D
scratches by Bad DJ Budget Cuts
crowd recording by Ed Wang at the Troubador in Los Angeles
mix, master, and post by C Money Burns at Cosmic Black

cover image VERY sloppily edited from the t-shirt design by JJ Pare

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all rights reserved

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about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew
half of Danger Grove w Lizard Grove
half of The Library Steps w Ambeez & Illgil
one-third of Imaginary Friends w Thesis Sahib & MC Frank Deluxe
one-third of The Sentinels w ginzuintriplicate & Naked J

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem
... more

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