The Rap Hundreds, season 3

by rap legend Jesse Dangerously

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1.
2.
This is the edge Traveling, space fabric unraveling There is a gathering out past Saturn's rings Beyond your fathoming, beyond your imagining Amongst the star dust, there's no Starbucks, it's just us And you're beautiful. Gorgeous. Oh, I'm so into you. Captivated by your majesty like gravity Actually, have you ever been outside your own galaxy? This is the edge of the Universe We could go all the way This is the edge of the Universe We could go all the way Hedging no bets, in our essence we are legends, so let's Put that unleaded in our jets, heavens to betsy I'm blest And you're the bestest, out of sight like vestiges of Light, that's right - we ping like satellite messages Broadcasting live. 3 2 1 Contact, provide A monostatic transmission, Alright man, listen, this Monastic life is long lasting, we take bombastic strides, we Freely bond, we're some extremely fond astronauts Casting off the shackles of atmosphere, we have no fear Imagine me just lamping on your lap in your captain's chair? Past the furthest margin of the map, whatever happens, we're Happy campers, mere passengers, no need to have the answers We are men of action, lies do not become us, Westley Calling "As you wish!" to me, you tumble down that grassy hill I cast myself thereafter and we roll like we will never come to Rest at our perimeter, until at last, we will This is the edge of the Universe We could go all the way This is the edge of the Universe We could go all the way This is the edge of the Universe We could go all the way This is the edge of the Universe We could go all the way
3.
Bedtime, boys I'm copasetic I'm awe-inspired I'm soaking wet and I'm on fire I'm open ended I'm broke and blessed, I'm old and edgy I'm Vaughn Squire on twenty-four inch bike tires Nicole Byers meets Mike Myers Parole violation, I'm life sized I'm Nole, by the way, and I like guys Bad man, attitude badder than Van Damme too Badder than bad news, get battered like bad food In a permanent state of a tentative bad mood You're beach wedding soft A pair of delicate dad shoes Your "Heart of Darkness" has the melanin of J. Crew Banana banana banana bread batter Rapper slash anime voice actor manager Slap my face slathered with hand sanitizer And go ask your old man for pants the right size There's squirrels on your porch Go review records by girls for the source I'm sick of your internet comedy course I'll see you in court, I want a divorce How many Che Guevara shirts does Zach de la Rocha have How many holes in the crotch that Lil Kim poster 'pose to have Riddle me this, I fiddle my thumbs, my thumbs are my dick Don't answer this shit Look at this quick This lesbian fit, Drown in the wave This Degeneres drip Yeah, nobody àsked Go eat dry toast with your no-money ass Whoa buddy, that's a big truck for a teenager What do you mean let me talk to your manager No, you can talk to the hand The hand talks back, you do not understand I'm shopping, clock what i got for a grand A watch from Japan and these hot rubber pants I'm Helen Hunt for no reason If you Mel Gibson, I'm leaving, What Women What? That's a slam dunk It's downloaded and seeding I hope you try to get the same thing Instead download a whole bunch of bee stings Your dad told you to be safe online Not install a whole bunch of bee stings I'm allergic to bees Me too They're huge and they're sting crazy No, you're a Funko Pop In the discount bin at this one closed shop I don't run when the gun go pop I just cry at the top of my lungs for the cops Til my mom's like stop! People are staring Yeah, I just want them to see what I'm wearing She says, i told you to stay in the car and I'm like Yeah but you wouldn't leave the keys for the radio, would ya? Bedtime, boys Aw mom Aw mom Aw mom Aw mom
4.
DRUMBS 03:18
We got Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes drums drums drums Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes drums drums drums Pounding rhythms, down to give em sounds to listen to, make the space my syllables fit in to. subdivisions any substance split in two, from patterns down to the atom I am living proof. Since I been a kid in my living room Banging on chicken buckets, adults were sickened of it DRUMS i frickin love it. the devil made me do it to em let the rhythm hit em. let the fluid sluice Weas the juice, please squeeze the truth out with a Pair of sticks to embarrass generic heretics WHOOMP there it is, spare me your careless whispers No shoes in the house, I'm wearing slippers Serendipitous, you could call it kismet Supersonic, I'm the future of the business I'm a shoot you with a witness, no fear of the repercussions; love to each percussionist Who your cousin is? Come receive your punishment! Uneventful, unintentional consequences Fundamental consciousness in a nonsense sentence I put a strain on friendships I go on and on and on endless All comers, challengers and contenders I didn't know I would be so contentious! I don't go on benders, I just bend Over backwards for those that know the passwords Yup, I kick styles in encrypted files Wild like the drama of the gifted child I sort MCs into handy piles Then my smile fades as I feed them to Danny Miles I can scarcely bear to watch It's better this way, swear to god He loves birds back to mesozoic theropods I'm a prairie fossil, very Triceratops With more props than Carrot Top and fewer freckles If you stood before me on stage, you were heckled Like, what did you expect? I'll Be back, but for now just seckle! We got Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes drums drums drums Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes drums drums drums Stretch a skin over a hoop and add a resonating shell Ready for detonating Ba dum psh, every one's a comedian Spreading devastating waves through every medium Break the tedium. Act and seize the daylight Create tragedies like the great Athenian playwrights... Sophocles, Euripides Everybody tells me Jesse D, you rip at these It's a breeze, the rhythms just come to me As long as there's a beat to accompany underneath I am nothing sans batterie I keep people to flatter me on salary The benefits are decent So begin echoing my sentiments this evening Everybody knows you're a liar, little child Putting "my opinions are my own" in your twitter bio Yeah right. Sounds like someone's in denial And for once it isn't me... it's been a while We got Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes drums drums drums Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes Drums (DRUMS) here it comes drums drums drums drums drums drums drums drums drums drums drums drums

about

A living masterpiece - this album receives a new track for each month of the season. Probably around 10 altogether, look at the previous seasons for examples.

You don't have to pay anything for it. You can download the songs for any amount including free, or just stream them from bandcamp or over on Spotify or whatever else your preferred platform is.

The songs are supported by my Patreon over at patreon.com/rljd - if you sign up there, you can get access to the songs as soon as they're ready, rather than waiting for their monthly appearance in public. You can also get access to my demos and works in progress to see what else is coming down the pike.

The option will always be there to support me, but more than anything I just want you to enjoy and share the music! Whatever that looks like for you, I'm happy.

credits

released February 29, 2020

see each individual track for song credits

Season 3 cover art by Benjamin Comeau

license

all rights reserved

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about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew
half of Danger Grove w Lizard Grove
half of The Library Steps w Ambeez & Illgil
one-third of Imaginary Friends w Thesis Sahib & MC Frank Deluxe
one-third of The Sentinels w ginzuintriplicate & Naked J

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem
... more

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