Heart of a G​.​I​.​R​.​L.

by rap legend Jesse Dangerously

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about

I wrote this rap in 2006 as I approached the ten-year mark of making hip-hop in my bedroom. It was conceived as a sequel to the song "Childish Fantasy," which I wrote when I was a teenager, and which was about the ridiculous levels of notoriety and notability I hoped to achieve any minute now.

It is a rap about feelings about rap. I hope you have feelings about this rap about feelings about rap. But don't rap about your feelings about this rap about feelings about rap... that would be too much.

--
It was intended to be part of an album that I have yet to ever complete and release, called "The So-Called Solo Album." As that record languished in the special hell that is reserved for rappers who try to work with lots of different producers long-distance, I leaked just this track to the Rhyme Torrents vol.5 compilation which came out for free on the internet.

So now here it is... still for free on the internet! Welcome to savings.

lyrics

I got stars in my eyes
I got a song in my heart
I got a skip in my step
I got a longing to chart
I got the eyes of a child
I got the heart of a girl
I want the cries of the wild
From every part of the world
I'm feeling tense and disturbed
In every sense of the word
But my intent is contentment
When events have occurred
I got my eyes on the prize
I got my heart in my throat
I got a vision and a calling
That I'm starting to doubt...

One day, I'll be raised up in glory, famous
Even if I gotta crucify myself like Tori Amos
The truth is I might well be sorta aimless or stymied
Don't mind me, I thought they'd all know what my name is in the 90s
I'm feeling old, when will my style be in vogue
So I can stay adored for decades like Kylie Minogue?
Write me a note because I'm keen to know whether
I've been a dope, letting my fever grow - should I have known better?
Or been a go-getter, taken the bold measures
Facing the full pressure and breaking the old records?
Patience is so precious but my slow methods made for no successes
It's so pathetic - should I have known better?
Or been a go-getter, taken the bold measures
Facing the full pressure and breaking the old records?
Patience is so precious but my slow methods made for no successes.
Yet.

God dammit all, my fanciful fantasy is irrational
I know, but I stay hopeful like amnesty international
Forever, I plan to be a national treasure
And my passion will never flag or lessen whatsoever
Whatever, so it's impractical, I guess I'm not so clever
But I remain intractable and after all it's better
To fail on the trail of the Grail than to quit trying
To let worries discourage and sit dying in
Vain, it's insane but I intend to flourish in
The sun or the rain because both contain nourishment
Sure it's sentimental and sappy but rapping's what
Makes me happy, so I have to make it and make it snappy
Take a nap to dream and wake up at the scene of a
Robbery in poverty, it's gotta be simple snobbery
Already crippled audibly, watching some little novelty
Non-entity get all of the numbers he picked for lottery
Call me petty but my heart breaks, you don't know how it
Feels to be a winning racer spinning his wheels in place
I just want to steal a space in plain view of the real estate
Where I can watch the green light flash at night across the lake
Impostor, fake, a phony like Sally Hayes, at home in the
Alleyways where nobody knows me from my salad days
'Cause nowadays I should be making power plays and grand manouevres
. But here I'm standing stupid, nothing for a man to do but
Rollerskate to Xanadu, go inside the Matrix
Just close my eyes and fake it... I hope that I can make it.
... I hope that I can make it.
... I hope that I can make it.

credits

released September 30, 2006
Beat by Savilion
Recorded and mixed by Fresh Kils @ The KilZone

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about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem

"Sapphire meets Sappho meets Saafir meets Jonathan Saffron Foer;"
"not the Black Frank White, just the white Frank Black;"
"Wiz Khalifa meets Pat Califia;"
"like Buck 65 but faster and fat."
... more

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