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lyrics

For the most part inoffensive
BUT when I use a bad word it's meant
To give my frustration a vent and advertisement
Sketching in the textbook, extroverted sentinel blues
Circus tent dungarees and sensible shoes
I'm not elated with spaceships, much as I love moonwalking
Anthro-apologist, Han Solo, Chewbacca
Demolishes manticores, chimeras and hybrids
To component parts, cinnamon hearts under my eyelids
Style is paramount and tantamount to oxygen
(Skills) before I wear 'em out, I'm handing out a box of 'em
Like nothing. I'm awesome in the hearts and minds of dozens while
My rhymes have racing car designs and that fresh out the oven smell
Butter in my mouth doesn't melt, word to mother. We
Serve a dope subpoena and freestyle at discovery
The gavel's staccato rap performs an ostenato
With my heartbeat, even if it's dark we cast a shadow

(scratches)

Supermodel compliancy check failed. Standards raised.
Hawks versus handsaws. Horseshoes, handgrenades.
Panda bear fetishists standing there in their underwear
Innovate infiltrate integrate, ninety-eight degrees centigrade
Puffer fish, pantywaist. Encrypted, corrupted and erased
Genius in a monkey suit like panties made of fancy lace
Andy March: all that and a fistfull of candy hearts
Our official manifesto is nothing but offhand remarks
We practise demanding arts and craft outstanding works
Giving the finger to freeloading fans & slipping the tongue to manhandlers
Electronic devices give me command over myself
With the manners of a minister and the antlers of an elk
With my manservant's help we make hamburger of herbs, lots of spice
Preferred by connoisseurs of the absurd plot device
Deus ex mechanical pencil used to write prehensile tales
The raspy voice a file in the cake enjoyed in continental jails
. Snail's . pace . suits me . just fine
Percale pretty pillowcase, lusting for Dustin Diamond
Hello Kitty full of grace. This clearly illustrates
Nothing in particular like Ford's speech at Milliways
I'm secular, christ but you're a hard master, Dracula
I'm not so much Ninja Scroll as Card Captor Sakura
I can go farther, faster, accuracy suffers though
Be advised to keep your fingers well outside buffer zone
This is for lovers only, others need not apply
Lady that means you, plus the planet rockabye
Baby.to the pop say up jump the rhythm of a
Bang bang pattycake and take no prisoners
Inquisitive visitors may examine parameters
To determine a permanent stance on famine in Canada
Handsome janitor waltzes with principal's youngest daughter
Charmed I'm sure but there's some kind of fungus on her
That could cause a lung disorder, nevertheless, pucker up
The preening, grasping Humperdink will never impress Buttercup
I'll endeavour to guess your weight and date of birth from the sound of your voice
Astounding talents like mine are world renowned and rejoiced
It all comes down to a choice but whatever, no pressure
It's the go-getter, mic molester, court jester
Protestor, yesterday's news broadcaster
Pastor of the parish, embarrassinly garish
Nightmarish Dana Dane insane in the insidious brain
Slobodan Milosevic, Robotron videogame
Focus of the media blame, living in a city of shame
Aimlessly dangerous, famous to boot and it's like that

credits

from Eastern Canadian World Tour 2002, released August 1, 2002

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about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem

"Sapphire meets Sappho meets Saafir meets Jonathan Saffron Foer;"
"not the Black Frank White, just the white Frank Black;"
"Wiz Khalifa meets Pat Califia;"
"like Buck 65 but faster and fat."
... more

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