Sweet Venus... on clear autumn nights like this one...
I can imagine my own
Personal constellation, it looks just like her and tempts me
I'm not a player-hater, I'm a player-disliker-intensely
Incidentally, a hell of an MC with a penchant for manly hubris
Recommended by four out of five licentious Stanley Kubricks
Rude and difficult like Rubik's Cube, shy of a load by a few bricks
Known to recite children's verse in bus shelters at night just for the acoustics
Gentlemen, grab your gluesticks! I'll make every man-jack of your crew sick
With my bebop/rocksteady/Brahms' Lullabye/funeral music!
I want my face on the crucifix, I want my name in the papers
The glory and pride of my country, the private shame of the Quakers
Amish Paradise Lost in the Superbowl Shuffle of a stacked deck
I beat the written word into oblivion until little remains but a black speck
Mack Truck! I'm nothing but a float in the motorcade
Sick fuck! On speaking terms with several girls under voter-age
Slow to rage, early to bed, cautious but never chicken
Running figure-eights and perfect circles around the clever dickens!
Nine eyes on the clock that's ever tickin' towards the Rapture
I'll remain an upper echelon Pokémon - hard to capture!
At the first hint of disaster, the sucker turned white as a sheet!
"And we sent him cry-y-ing down the street!"

Punk rock passionate, anti-taxidermy activist
Devil's advocate, technically excellent rebel strategist
Satyriatic satirist, catastrophic catalyst
Cacophonic cat person, captain of the Nautilus
..I oughta bottle this rap fluid and hawk it to the
Girlies on the left who's gonna rock it to the early morn
In fresh mode, yesh y'all, pops filtered with pantyhose
If I was a gangster rapper I'd represent my colours in ANSI codes
. Strike a nasty pose and make a clever retort
To a dis record that sampled Björk or Weather Report
I would never resort to underhanded principles
When I could stand tall in my hidden fortress wonderland, invincible
The mission be damned, it's only sensible to listen
And learn, even presented with an indefensible position
Your fanciful suspicions have me branded with a pentacle
Well BIG DEAL, so what if I was? I'm a Sentinel!
Tentacle . PORN reborn, my resurrection was fraternal
I live up to the hype, unlike Reflection Eternal
Two kernels of advice: first, I recommend walking for your health
Second, girls - let your fingers do the talking to yourself
Wearing moccasins for stealth, sucker was still indiscrete

Take notes on this one, kids, 'cause I'm the baddest nimble
Linguist who still considers multisyllabic rhymes a status symbol
English is my theme park, I'm the carney at the tilt-a-whirl
Regrettably, so vicious like Milton Berle celebrity roasting
I'm replacing Emily Post and Lucy Maud Montgomery officially
It's not amiss to construe this as a summary dismissal, G
Misery . full in effect, I remember when
It was still okay to call rappers wack and then dismember them
How are you, gentlemen? Step in the camper van!
The greatest minds of our time were connected with ampersands!
But that's about to change because I swear I'm the best since
DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince!
Take it off, you can't see me in infrared
Making light of your injuries, taking a bite of the gingerbread
House, moving gingerly out amongst the people, right?
With two in the chest, just doing my best to smile and be polite
Evil like cute kittens. It's so regrettable
That you seem to feel that my rhymes are edible
A blessing to the medical profession, rhyming nonetheless
I'm out - I think you'll want to take some time and convalesce.
Sleep now!




all rights reserved


rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem

"Sapphire meets Sappho meets Saafir meets Jonathan Saffron Foer;"
"not the Black Frank White, just the white Frank Black;"
"Wiz Khalifa meets Pat Califia;"
"like Buck 65 but faster and fat."
... more

contact / help

Contact rap legend Jesse Dangerously

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code