Welcome to Spooky Humour Podcast

from Want, For Nothing by Danger Grove

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Thick, rich, and wide grooves that harbour bass that pounds and rhymes that do a sad, but weird though?

    Meghan's glorious artwork is big and huge and bold, like how it was meant to be seen. It almost glows in your hand, like rapidly cooling embers as the deepest darkness of the wood encroaches. The labels on the vinyl have their own special image that you can't even see on the internet yet.

    To the untrained eye, the vinyl itself may appear black. It is not only black; it is dark. It is so very, very dark.

    If you buy two copies you can juggle them. Some of these lines would be really mean to use in a DMC or ITF routine, so that's fun! We even made sure not to have it pressed on gross, lazy 180g vinyl which is a conspiracy by whoever sets shipping prices. We're onto you!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Want, For Nothing via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Message from rap legend Jesse Dangerously: Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are temporarily unable to mail records and other physical merchandise. We appreciate your support, and we will ship your order as soon as we can.
    edition of 538 

      $20 CAD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    I don't think Lizard was even born when tapes were cool.

    I'm not sure any of us were born, at all.

    This casette is the colour of night, except the animals are the colours of animals. It has a bonus track that's not available on streaming sites or CD and it has that "cassette tape" sound you love.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Want, For Nothing via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Message from rap legend Jesse Dangerously: Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are temporarily unable to mail records and other physical merchandise. We appreciate your support, and we will ship your order as soon as we can.
    edition of 100 

      $10 CAD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    I mean the cover is beautiful; the disc itself is printed with a gorgeous special picture of even more animals. The text is big enough to read easily unless you have useless bear eyes like Jesse, and you can play it in a car from ten years ago. It'll probably thump, too.

    Yeah actually I'm not sure why I was so dismissive at first. This disc is, if nothing else, pretty compact. You could probably carry twenty or thirty of them around with you and not even feel tired. Wanna try? Pony up.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Want, For Nothing via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Message from rap legend Jesse Dangerously: Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are temporarily unable to mail records and other physical merchandise. We appreciate your support, and we will ship your order as soon as we can.
    edition of 500 

      $15 CAD or more 

     

about

this song is just an episode of your favourite podcast

you know the one,

"Welcome to Danger Grove"

lyrics

Something wicked this way comes - oh, that's embarrassing.
Something wicked was waving at someone else, behind me.
Welcome... to Danger Grove.

Hello, listeners, eavesdroppers, surveillance drones
Golems who can only recite poems, and nameless clones.
It's me, your guest host, by which I mean the station's only host
But I'm currently possessed by an unholy ghost
What it wants? Goodness only knows. Now, moving on
The Danger Grove School Board has really crossed the Rubicon
They've asked me to announce that due to budget cuts the school band is just
Standing there with no music. And I won't do it.

The Mayor's race was canceled due to too many challengers
That's all for news, on to community calendar.
Sunday has been called for rain, Tuesday is standing in
Monday will proceed as usual, But Wednesday has a thing so
Thursday goes where Tuesday was, then Wednesday, then the rest is normal
Second Thursday still is when the high school holds their semi formal
Friday is the Hemi Demi formal, nearly casual but not
Quite. On Saturday, of course, every dog dies.

So make arrangements. Today's traffic? Cars are fake.
Bicycles are little white lies, and the bus is late.
Keep clear of the highways, the low road, the usual path
Stick to blood tunnels, the cloud ferry, sewer rafts
Sure, Google Maps will open the Uber app
But that's all due to hackers that were trapped in the computer lab
Congestion is light, thank Heaven for small kindnesses
And what little remains is in your sinuses.

"and now, a word from our sponsor"

The Illuminati doesn't exist! A society that denies its own existence, while conferring special privileges to its members at the expense of everyone else? That just white people. The Illuminati is a name white people made up for even whiter white people.

Brought to you by our sponsor... Free Masons.

Listeners, my intern just handed me a note
That says the station's getting lots of angry phone calls and I quote, because
Of when I said the dogs were going to die - no, I misspoke!
On Saturday, the dogs in town all dye their furry coats!
Sorry for the worry, folks, in my haste to start the next
segment, I miscommunicated like a text fragment
The dogs will all D-Y-E! please reassure your children.
Side note, the dye IS toxic, it will kill them.

. . oh god there's a noise like a thousand bears outside the station
. . the dogs in the city are forming a pyramid, and they're all vibrating
. . they're angry I said they would die . when they dye, now they're
pulsing and glowing and somehow melting together
combining, becoming a dragon It's turning this way, its looking at me
OH, MY GOD, it's-- it's time for the weather.

WEATHER
I never really knew, so much
Danger lived in me, not just
As a metaphor, but all the
Machete-wielding bees
That grow inside
(and hatch out of my eyes)

Oh listeners, that was a tight squeeze
The windows are smashed and I'm feeling a slight breeze
The dog dragon was fire breathing - I would have been burned
To cinders - if not for Cindy the intern.
She really earned her course credits when she threw herself
Into the beast's mouth and it peaced out - we do, of course, regret it
To the parents of Cindy, we extend our deepest sympathies
She's gone, but she's gained so much experience in this industry!

Stay tuned next for the arrhythmic anti hip-hop rap hour
Followed by the theatre kids rhyme time
And one song among those that makes this seem just alright
goodnight, Danger Grove. goodnight.

Welcome to Danger Grove, two words, is a production of DangerGrove, one word. It is written by Jesse Dangerously, and produced by 🗡️🗡️🗡️ Grove. The voice of Danger Grove is Jesse Dangerously, the rules are quite clear on that. Original music by 🗡️🗡️🗡️ Grove. This episode's weather was "Save The Bees (But Who Will Save Me From Myself, And Also From The Bees)" by The Penetrating Gaze. Comments, questions? Good luck!

Today's proverb: A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. And a friend? A friend is just a stranger.

Period.

credits

from Want, For Nothing, released October 19, 2018
Grove(ASCAP)/McDonald(SOCAN)
song artwork by Benjamin Comeau www.benjamincomeau.ca

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew
half of Danger Grove w Lizard Grove
half of The Library Steps w Ambeez & Illgil
one-third of Imaginary Friends w Thesis Sahib & MC Frank Deluxe
one-third of The Sentinels w ginzuintriplicate & Naked J

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem
... more

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