Triptych II: Hot Property

from by rap legend Jesse Dangerously

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  • SPECIAL EDITION alternate jacket vinyl with chapbook
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    The last 50 vinyl copies of "Humble & Brilliant" are being issued with a unique and super-limited jacket, designed by Hayden Myers of Mister Hayden Comics, and printed by Melanie Yugo of Spins & Needles craft/DJ collective!

    The labels are the same as before, illustrated by Bryan Lee O'Malley and Hope Larson.

    The new chapbooks are 5"x6" and very convenient for carrying around to read or start cooking fires.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humble & Brilliant via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • 64-page chapbook of lyrics and liner notes. Reads like a novel or textbook, only more brilliant!

    **Now much tinier! 4x5" pocket edition is just as clever but way cheaper to ship to you.

    Features a foreword written by Buck 65, several indices and appendices, and beautiful illustrations by Eisner-winning cartoonist Bryan Lee O'Malley (Scott Pilgrim, Lost At Sea) and Ignatz-winning cartoonist Hope Larson (Chiggers, Mercury, Grey Horses).

    This version of the chapbook is bound using perfect binding, which is like a real paperback.

    Also includes immediate download of [numtracks]-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humble & Brilliant via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
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      $12 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    now you don't have to carry your cumbersome MP3 player or turntable in the jeep when you want to blast tunes up and down the beach... I promised I would never make a cd but I missed the 90s too much and here we are.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humble & Brilliant via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 15  2 remaining

      $10 USD or more 

     

about

Some years ago, I was careless with my flamethrower heart and my life caught fire and burned and burned and everyone threw gas on it and I ran around all frantic and left blisters where I touched. I hurt more people than I can tell you, more deeply than I can stand to recall. Not least of all myself.
This song was supposed to be healing but it’s too defensive, too indignant. It really just feels scraping and raw. At the time of this writing, I haven’t forgiven everyone. I would like to. When I do, I’ll write a new song.
For now it’s this one, and I am sorry.

lyrics

I will never forget the way her face contorted when I said, “no,” and let her know for sure that I was sure that we should let go. It wasn't just chagrin – I watched the castles of her future crumble, ushering in a time when I would never touch her again.
I tried to leave, but I was naïve, doing my best, held hostage in my own home with suicide threats. Hell, only human, I guess; fractured under too much high stress. I'll never not have a spot for you in my chest, but big deal.
Nine years scared of starting back at loneliness, high fears and hurt made the parting acrimonious. I dried tears and worked to make the extrication delicate, but lots of worries had me phoning, yelling at the cops to hurry.
Fuck. I'm telling it wrong, out of order and one-sided. The things I can't forgive at this point are ones I did, mostly. That's a given. There is no sweet after-image. I hold the face I made her make that day as a ghostly apparition.

“Get out my life, woman,
I don't love you no more.”

“I left the girls’ hearts broken,”

Long time coming, wrong time arriving. Killer timing. The wages of sin garnished, tarnishing my silver lining, undermining fun designs, underlined my lack of a spine. You want to take a shot?
Take a spot at the back of the line.
Yeah, I did some foolish shit while you just licked your ghoulish lips. I tried so hard and so often 2 quit, but I was 2 legit. Swamped in bad investments, dishonest indiscretions, glad you pompous adolescents all thought it was interesting. Fair-weather friends act like they wear leather skins. Scared of getting 'em wet, and that's a fear that never ends.
It was exciting de-friending me, citing moral ascendancy, taking perverse pleasure, making the pressure worse, whatever.
If you're not my friend now, you never were. And if it makes you feel better, tell yourself that it's for her! Just pick the one you fancy and think of yourself as her champion, but whichever she is, you can't have done half of what I did for her so FUCK YOU.

“Get out my eyes, teardrops,
I got to see my way around.”

“But nevertheless, I’ll say it again – that these are the people that we call friends.”

It was trying circumstances. I know others have had worse, I'm just saying – I fucked up, but I'm not a bad person. Always felt no-one wanted me, never turned it around, so when my heart was a hot property, it burned to the ground.
Can it hurt now to confide that I take a certain amount of pride in knowing that, for a moment, half the world was down to ride?
All the hurt and disgrace served to replace the smirk on my face with a tear in my eye, but you can't erase what I carry inside. I dare you to try!
Buried alive, I tunnelled in the dark to where I heard voices come from. Should have left certain choices undone – I could have destroyed someone. But at this point, dumb grudges and regrets are so useless. We were all of us adults, and mostly wove the threads of our own nooses. Blown fuses and badly patched wiring, plus corrosion, meant we put ourselves through a trial by fire in the resulting explosion.
Some of us walked away tall, some of us crawled. I wish only the very best for everyone that was involved. I'm sorry.

“When girls dressed in black they all look so mournful and common sense just don't get used by mere mortals. You can't hide the flaws in the story you're building, but are you still willing?
The responsibility becomes an afterthought when one remembers the reasons they should've stopped; there's no pretending that you forgot.
For all my fauxs pas I just said, ‘excuse me.’ It was the simplest things that always confused me. I never stopped, I never looked both ways.
How come no-one told me that sometimes it takes a grown man a long time to learn just what it takes a child a night to learn?
I could have used those words.”

I've got gaps in my photo albums, a head full of gaping wounds, a heart that's scraped and bruised, and the hard won grace to lose. But I stand up straight under the weight of my regrets, and the faces I have let fall, I will take to my death.

credits

from Humble & Brilliant, released March 10, 2011
beats and rap and bad decisions by Jesse Dangerously
scratches by Bad DJ Budget Cuts

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about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem

"Sapphire meets Sappho meets Saafir meets Jonathan Saffron Foer;"
"not the Black Frank White, just the white Frank Black;"
"Wiz Khalifa meets Pat Califia;"
"like Buck 65 but faster and fat."
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