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Guest vocals by Backburner (Chokeules, Wordburglar, More or Les, Thesis Sahib), Kabuto the Python, Lizard Grove, XoC, Illgil, Attikus, The Mighty Rhino, Julie S. Lalonde, Nadine Thornhill, sweet Devon, Young Saffo, Katalina Rogue, Bloody Cowards, Ariana Verbree, Tori D, Dopey Ziegler, Jacob Earl, Young K the Mayor of Ottawa, Nicolas Carrier, John Enzinas, Wendall Marvel, Rhubarb Knox, Maggie Dangerously & Tom, Brett Weaver, Holly Flanagan, Jim Goodrich, Kevin Earle, Len Pal and Pritchart Trallivan.

lyrics

My dude!
My dude.
My dude,
My dude.
My dude!
My dude...
Hey, my dude!

Your boss has the patent on profiting and
When the planet's gone, they might have to cancel Capricorn
Vack before your favourite rapper was born
I whispered that his dad was wack, pass it on. (My dude!)
We used to play a game of broken telephone
Soaked to the skeleton in dopamine and serotonin
Couldn't get diagnosed but they would sell us smokes
Tell a joke to yourself and hope to quell the loneliness
Hey, best of luck with that! Back when a trucker hat was just a hat
Live forever like how long nothing lasts
Before your cousin asks, there is glass in my lenses
The prescription is weak, but nothing gets past my defenses,
I'm guarded like a castle keep even when I'm fast asleep
Half my rap opinions would be regarded as blasphemy
That's how you know my love is sincere
I've kept these judgements from my peers for like, dozens of years

You couldn't drag it out if me
With a thousand horses
You couldn't drag it out if me
With a thousand horses
You couldn't drag it out if me
With a thousand horses
You couldn't drag it out if me
Even if you had a horse

It don't mean a thing a thing if it ain't got that semiotic coding
But it can still be plenty honest or at least
Show aesthetic promise, plus
Anything sounds profound that's said anonymous in quotes
That's not the speaker being modest, they just don't want us to know
How much they think they could have taught us
And by that token, they're more often banal than clever
Ask yourself does this need to be spoken, now or ever?
(My dude) How dare you suggest that i take my own advice?
Just for that, I'm canceling my show and staying home tonight!
Yeah, that's right. And I no longer tour often, so
May the mild disappointment of dozens be on your conscience!
Mm hm. Bet you're sorry you spoke up,
Deafened by the collective chorus of "so what?"
Like infinite Miles Davises on infinite trumpets
And people say I'm sensitive or something, shucks.

You couldnt drag me out there
With a thousand horses
You couldnt drag me out there
Even with a thousand horses
You couldnt drag me out there
With a thousand horses

Honestly, I'm
I don't really even
I'm not sure how the horses would help

Get off your hobby horse, buster, we need the wood
To build a stocks for shaming people whose deeds were good
The worst offenders, who didn't learn the words to censor
Shall be burnt and rendered and turned to embers
Unless they're pert and slender
If you're cute enough, all will be forgiven
Don't look at me, that's just how the policy is written
(My dude!) I can't pretend to think it's solidly positioned
But nothing is in any former colony of Britain
The only good laws is Ronnie and Hubert, please
Remember that like lessons from your mommy at puberty
I hit my creative peak at twenty-two or three
But I'm a better person than i used to be, between you and me
What I've shed in fluency I've gained in patience
Very fortunate, my greatest strength: remaining stationary
Got a lot of inertia to overcome, kinfolk
I shift slowly like the overton window

You couldn't drag me any faster
With a thousand horses
Couldn't drag me any faster
With a thousand horses
Couldn't drag me any faster
With a thousand horses

You and all your horses
Could never drag me.

My dude.
My dude!
My dude!
My dude!
My dude,
My dude.
My dude.
My dude!
My dude!
My dude.
My dude,
Aw, my dude.
My dude,
My dude!
My dude!
My dude.
My d00d!
Ugh, my dude,
My dude!
My dude,
My dude.
My dude
Mah dude!
My duud,
My dude!!
My dude!
My dude!
My dude?
My duuuude!

credits

from The Rap Hundreds, season 3, track released May 14, 2019
produced, mixed, and freaked by Ghettosocks
features one thousand friends

illustration by Benjamin Comeau!

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew
half of Danger Grove w Lizard Grove
half of The Library Steps w Ambeez & Illgil
one-third of Imaginary Friends w Thesis Sahib & MC Frank Deluxe
one-third of The Sentinels w ginzuintriplicate & Naked J

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem
... more

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