Professional Widowmaker

from by rap legend Jesse Dangerously

  • SPECIAL EDITION alternate jacket vinyl with chapbook
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    The last 50 vinyl copies of "Humble & Brilliant" are being issued with a unique and super-limited jacket, designed by Hayden Myers of Mister Hayden Comics, and printed by Melanie Yugo of Spins & Needles craft/DJ collective!

    The labels are the same as before, illustrated by Bryan Lee O'Malley and Hope Larson.

    The new chapbooks are 5"x6" and very convenient for carrying around to read or start cooking fires.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humble & Brilliant via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

  • 64-page chapbook of lyrics and liner notes. Reads like a novel or textbook, only more brilliant!

    **Now much tinier! 4x5" pocket edition is just as clever but way cheaper to ship to you.

    Features a foreword written by Buck 65, several indices and appendices, and beautiful illustrations by Eisner-winning cartoonist Bryan Lee O'Malley (Scott Pilgrim, Lost At Sea) and Ignatz-winning cartoonist Hope Larson (Chiggers, Mercury, Grey Horses).

    This version of the chapbook is bound using perfect binding, which is like a real paperback.

    Also includes immediate download of [numtracks]-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humble & Brilliant via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
    ships out within 5 days

      $12 USD or more 


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    now you don't have to carry your cumbersome MP3 player or turntable in the jeep when you want to blast tunes up and down the beach... I promised I would never make a cd but I missed the 90s too much and here we are.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humble & Brilliant via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 15  1 remaining

      $10 USD or more 



Got my Tori Amos swag on for this one. You say you don’t want it again and again; you SURE you don’t really mean it? Don’t eff around and wind up getting silent all these years!


What up, troop? (WHAT UP!) I came with cut up loops, and you think you got me figured out?
“Shut up, stupid!” (SHUT UP!)
I shun MuchMusic, but I still apply for grants. You can't vilify how I soliloquize and rant! You take an ill-advised chance with scant hope of success; now, stare straight ahead with your hand over your chest and chant my name like you would utter a sworn oath. Your wits are just sharp enough for buttering warm toast!
Dude, my rhymes be funny with insults. Who outshines me? None of these dimbulbs! Just made-up gangsters like Sonny Corinthos! I'm in front of you, serenading under your windows! Layering breaks like I was marinating steaks; preparing to take the cake from you prevaricating fakes. Sorry for the food rhymes, I've barely ate in days; I'm picking up crumbs like you to try and shake and bake some chicken.

You Evian drinkers are naïve and backward, coming up with nothing like dry heaves. In fact, you're repeating on a regular rotation. I've been so patient and nice, but now I'm popping your flotation device. If I was you, I'd start taking advice - dissing you is just my way of breaking the ice! I ain't gonna bite, I'm fed up to the gills. You said I wasn't ill on the internet instead of busting skills.
Ironic isn't it? You ain't got a record out! You ain't a problem, just a microscopic speck of doubt! Check it out, y'all, I'm sinister like southpaws. Step into my office, 'cause I don't make house calls. Your mouth falls open, all hopin' forever wrecked. Kids get sick of you like Paul Hogan in retrospect.
Neglect to genuflect with genuine respect and get a menu to select a course of inhuman correction for ya!

Middle-class middle-American middle-schoolers muddle through their middle-life crises, just a little too disillusioned, and it's a losing battle when the Hoosiers tip the snoozing cattle. Who's your dad? I'll prove that it's true without using confusing data.
Uncontrolled variance sunk the old experiments. The lumpenproletarians want the whole experience. It's so embarrassing with no-one carrying the weight – I'd like to punch the guy my girlfriend married in the face!
Yeah, **** ******, it's heartbreaking, come on, you're killing me! For really though, time to start taking responsibility. Wasting all the sympathy you garnered in martyrdom. Pardon the mess, come on, restart and refresh! Forget bargaining or threats; you aren't getting support cheques any more than your wife is likely to start darkening your doorstep!
(I know it's harsh, but you should hear the threats he aimed against me.)
I'm not sorry, I'm Jesse Dangerously!


from Humble & Brilliant, released March 10, 2011
beat and raps by Jesse Dangerously
scratches by Bad DJ Budget Cuts
little girl by Zaara



all rights reserved


rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem

"Sapphire meets Sappho meets Saafir meets Jonathan Saffron Foer;"
"not the Black Frank White, just the white Frank Black;"
"Wiz Khalifa meets Pat Califia;"
"like Buck 65 but faster and fat."
... more

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