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Celebrity Nudes (Tim Skin Moon Mix)

from Verba Volant (9th Anniversary) by rap legend Jesse Dangerously

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    inside the CD liner, you'll find the lyrics illegibly crammed into three panels, while the other three panels are a beautiful fold out showing everyone who appears on the record! Also the back cover painting by Kate Walchuk has to be seen to be believed.

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about

original appears on Eastern Canadian World Tour 2002

lyrics

Tattered, ragged with vicious bruises
Trying to appease the capricious muses
Flying trapeze, excuses excuses
The type of guy you want nothing to do with
"Who's this unfortunate cluttering up the hallway?"
(Someone Christ, King of the Jews) "Yeah, that's what they all say!"
They all say, "Jesse," but they really can't see me
Since I got a little fame like Billy Danzini
One ring for Batman, one ring to RUN TINGS
One ring for fronting or flossing or something
I'm the unreliable, lovable laugh riot
You claim you got wits? I admit you're half right
Weedsmoker, living la vida loca, you're mediocre
Thuggin' karaoke Vivid Video curmudgeon
Sergeant to the corporal punishment, punk, I'm brandishing
Brand X blandishments. Complaints? Take it to management,
Dink. I write my rhymes in vanishing ink
On a medium that's flammable, I'm a manacled animal
Mandibles gnashing, my passion's understandable
Instinctive action, smashing like a cannonball
To the hundred and Nth degree, plus the fears
Play tricks on your perception when you fence the three musketeers
Hence if we formed like Constructicons and Insecticons
We'd be like snakes to Ireland, raining destrucion on the leprechauns
Instructions for the clever pawns on how to overthrow the rooks
And bishops using techniques that geniuses would overlook
I know the crooked path and I pervert it for the cause of good
My will is stainless steel while conventions and laws are wood
And sometimes necessity is the mother of ax blades and flak jackets
For fat rabbits in fast raising tax brackets
Sabbath, Black Sabbath, my abacus computes
Mathematical roots for all you fatuous galoots

Superman, Batman, Spiderman
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Coming original, I send a hot signal to the sonogram
Old school DOS box, flossing with a ton of RAM
Handkerchief monogrammed, monacled eyepiece
Baby grand piano if I wanna tickle the ivories
No political diatribes/dissertations, academia WHAT!
We're the Royal Macadamia Nuts!
You want zany? That's us! I must proceed and continue
I sold out, by which I mean I filled every seat in the venue
Nothing to eat on the menu so I synthesize recipes
Winterized tires, you'll never get the best of me
Jesse D, A N G E R O U S L and sometimes
Y... lamping in the sunshine to unwind
I... am imaginary, actually magical
Casually, I manifest the fantastical
STAR! I behave in a famous way
And rep for Backburner, even though the name is gay
(What a thing to say!) Such a shameless play
For controversial commercial success in a painless way
My other band's rehearsal cassettes went double platinum
Flying off the shelves so fast the stores had trouble trackin'em!
Back in um... (effect?) effect, thanks! Where
Would I be without my friends? I draw a lot of blank stares!
We aren't gangst-airs, we're just twenty-somethings
Who grew up on rap and won't tolerate any fronting
Moth to the flame, I came up in the Maritimes
Y'all shift the blame, I shift the paradigms
Of Saracen science, when you parrot it's embarrassing
Pearls before swine, horse before the carriage
No fair, it's like using the rod before the carrot
I'm sorry if I'm seeing the flaws before the merits
I'm not so sure Americans can overcome soda pop
You'll never be huge, so go photoshop celebrity nudes!

credits

from Verba Volant (9th Anniversary), released November 1, 2007
beat by Timbuktu
cuts by Uncle Fester
raps by childhood Jesse, age 21

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rap legend Jesse Dangerously image

rap legend Jesse Dangerously Ottawa, Ontario

Genuine Independent Rap Legend (GIRL)

member of Backburner crew
half of Danger Grove w Lizard Grove
half of The Library Steps w Ambeez & Illgil
one-third of Imaginary Friends w Thesis Sahib & MC Frank Deluxe
one-third of The Sentinels w ginzuintriplicate & Naked J

partially culpable for the nerdcore problem ... more

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